Solution Euphoria: Non-existent
by LoDGAsGLaDOS
Summary: A girl from LoDGA, who had her dream come true of becoming the equivalent of GLaDOS, in real life Aperture, Is running out of what keeps her sane: Solution Euphoria. Trying to stay sane outside of Aperture proves difficult, but with help from LoDGA and her bestfriend Austin she tries to stay on track and not turn into a psychopath like her demented inspiration. But can she make it?


Testing… Testing...I need to test. I'm pacing up and down the room, going through test withdrawal. "Lizzy. Shut up. Seriously, you just did a social experiment last month. Get over it, and keep quiet, I'm reading." Anna tells me with an annoyed expression. I growl in the pit of my throat at her, "Anna, I told you, social experiments are different…Plus that was LAST MONTH..…AND NOT DONE IN APERTURE." She just rolls her eyes at me and goes back to her current manga book.

I haven't been getting my solution euphoria for months. It's getting a little unbearable. Well… "A little Unbearable" is an enormous understatement. It's horrid, I'd even prefer being stuck in water with all of my protective plates open on my connector port. Which… Actually doesn't hurt since everything is water proof, it's just maddeningly irritating to have water in the back of your neck.. And considering I love water, it still wouldn't be as bad. Nothing feels right without my euphoria. You can't think, I-I can't think. I have this single Idea going round and round in my head. _Test. _I can't stop the urge of needing to test. I have to; otherwise…Otherwise I get this, this Itch as Wheatley would say. It makes me nervous and twitchy. Well, more nervous and twitchy than usual anyways… plus every once in awhile I get this slight zap of electricity down my spine, which you'd think you'd get used to after a while. But no, it's like rubbing raw skin with sand paper after too long, and makes you ridiculously sore on top of that.

"LIZZY". Anna yells, cutting into my daze and bringing my mind back to earth. "I'm trying to Read! Go find some poor wandering soul to test on if you really can't stand it. Or, go get me ice cream or something. I don't care. Just stop pacing! Seriously, somehow you can pace out loud, without making any sound!" I glare at her then walk out yelling "No ice cream for you!"

I walk outside before deciding to go and see Rebekah and Lindsay. Thankfully they should both be home today. Although brainy and Lyle might be there. Brainy is Lindsay's boyfriend from Colu, his real name is Querl Dox but his legion name is Brainiac 5. Everyone just calls him Brainy though. He's an android with level 12 intelligence therefore, He's pretty awesome. I'm on a higher than average intelligence level, not nearly as high as his of course, and he's not a huge science fan like me; but we get along pretty well.

And Lyle is Rebekah's "Just a good friend", although we all know they totally like each other. He's also in the legion. Lyle Norg, also known as Invisible kid. I don't really know much about him, I just met him recently, though it's still quite obvious just how attached he is to her. Rebekah's known him for while thought I guess, He's pretty cool so far though.. Both Rebekah and Lindsay have boyfriends. And then of course Annie and I are boy-less. 'Yay'.

I consider asking Anna to come with me. But she's probably too busy with her book… I can just hear her saying "What. The. Heck. Lizzy. I just told you I'm busy." So I skip asking…

Anna, Rebekah, Lindsay and I are all apart of a group we call LoDGA, standing for "Legion of Demented Geeks Arise." We formed it about 6 years ago. Anna is the residential otaku and fairytale lover, Lindsay was [and still is] completely obsessed with Brainiac 5. Rebekah being the groups Legend of Zelda obsessed. And then there's me, the complete and utter portal nerd. Portal was my life. When I learned at the science fair that Aperture was real, and that I was going to be the equivalent of GlaDOS, my dream, became reality. And I love it. We were all the geeky outcasts back then... And still are. We were all so much alike, yet completely unique in our own special ways. So we fit. And thus, LoDGA was born.

Walking down the few blocks it takes to get to their house, my mind starts to drift off to Aperture and our latest project. We're trying to bring the portal gun back into view. We've attempted so many different theories, my first science fair attempt, which I'd worked months on, got incinerated… Along with the idiot who did it… As I continue to think about this I realize I'm rubbing the connector port at the back of my neck that connects me to my mainframe. It's a habit of mine when I get the itch. That connector port should have a cable attached to it as it always does when I think, and breathe science.

In no time at all I'm knocking on their door. I begin to pace around the porch as I wait for someone to open the door. After a few minutes of pacing I realize that normally by now I'd be inside. I turn around to see if anyone's even home when I realize that Rebekah is leaning against the doorway with an amused grin on her face. "Wow Lizzy. The faces you make when you're thinking and pacing are hilarious." I face-palm. "I've been standing here for like 5 minutes." She continues "And it just doesn't get old." She laughs and walks inside motioning for me to follow.

"So why exactly are you outside my door making funny faces, this time?" She grins, sitting back down and continuing her work, I face-palm again. "The faces are involuntary" I tell her. "However, the…Well…The reason is too actually. I haven't been getting my solution euphoria. I haven't tested anyone in a month, I haven't even been in Aperture in a month, I'm going insane from test withdrawal, and on top of that, I can't figure out how to get the stupid portal gun working!" I sigh in frustration and let myself drop onto her couch. She looks up from her drawing and surveys me. "Oh crap…" She says. I give her a "What the heck?" Look in return. "PoTATOS. When you don't get your solution euphoria, things do not go well. And you're wearing your hair in a ponytail. You NEVER put your hair up unless you have your cord in. Or you wish you had your cord in. So you must REALLY be going through withdrawal." I smile at her calling me by my LoDGA nickname "PoTATOS" and reach up and feel the elastic band wrapped around my hair. I hadn't even realized I'd done that.

She starts laughing at me again. "Well, as for the portal gun. Why don't you play the game again? See if Cave Johnson gave you something to work with there." I roll my eyes at her. It's been almost 2 months since I've played the game my facility is ingeniously covered by. "It's just a game… Mr. Johnson would tell me if he really had useful information on there." I explain. "Or would he?" She says with a sly look. "Have you tried the moon rocks?" Moon rocks? What the heck? Why would she-Oh, Moon rocks. "No…I'd forgotten about that." I admit. Moon rocks are what Mr. Johnson says creates the portals in the game. Then he dies from moon rock poisoning…

"Is Lindsay around? I had something I wanted to ask her." I wanted to do a body scan of her to see if it would show anything involving her powers on the monitor. It wouldn't hurt at all. It's like taking an x-ray. I think anyways… Lindsay is a part of Legion of Super Hero's with Brainy and Lyle as well as in LoDGA. Her LoSH name is Weather. A lot of people call her by her middle names Arashi Rose. "No she's not. Brainy came by and they went out to see a movie." She tells me "Ah, should have known. I guess I can talk to her later then"… It's better than her having to go save the world again I guess… Although if the world did ever blow up. I'd probably just take LoDGA, and my friend Austin down to Aperture. Sadly it's only 25 levels down right now. However, in a few years… It will be as massive as video game Aperture, now that we've mastered the panels. "where is Lyle?" She tries to hide it but I can see her face flush at the mention of his name. "Oh you know… He's out." Now it's my turn to laugh. "Alright then, I have to go now… Although thanks for reminding me of the moon rocks. I might just try it." I tell her. "Okay talk to you later. Tell Annie I said BTW!" I laugh and say I will, and then head out the door.

"BTW" Is something from my first social experiment. Basically, I tried to figure out how it would affect people if I said BTW before I said I just lost the game every single time. It didn't start working until I actually brought it up to the front of their minds. But eventually, it started to work on all my test subjects. So now, Every time I or someone else says btw they lose the game. It worked on me too, of course. Ensuing the many e-mails simply saying: "BTW!" that gets kind of annoying, though it kinda feels like starting a trend.

I close the door behind me and start aimlessly walking down the street. Test… _Go and test. Do it._ The little voice says in my mind. Sigh. How GLaDOS in the game could stand all those cores attached to her. I don't know. I can barely stand the one voice of my own conscience. I love it how the word "Science" Helps make up the word "Conscience". This voice could drive anyone insane.

()~~~~()

After thinking and walking for who knows how long I find that my feet have taken the rest of my oblivious self right outside the door to Aperture. I shake my head and start to walk away. But the scanner has already noted me as a familiar person. The red laser from the port shoots out. My conscience is in hysterics now that I'm trying to walk away. I argue with myself for awhile before coming to a decision "Well… I… It's already noticed me… I can't confuse it…" I tell myself aloud. Then I step forward and put my eye in front of the port.

I remember the first time that I did that. Mr. Johnson had just taken me here from the science fair. I'd just finished calling my mother to tell her about a job opportunity. Of course I didn't tell her the specifics. Especially excluding the fact that I would finally get to fulfill my dream of working at the top secret underground facility that's based off a video game everyone knew I was obsessed with, where I would get to have surgery to put a connector port into my neck that might kill me. Thankfully it didn't though. Yeah, it was probably a good idea that I left that out… And when I put my eye to the scanner I couldn't stop blinking and keeping my eyes from watering, accidently confusing it, then it got mad at me and wouldn't let me try again… Mr. Johnson scanned me in the next few times after that… I eventually got the hang of it though.

As I feel the tingling around my eye from it, I feel a shiver sent through my connector port, not as big as my usual ones, so not enough to really hurt… But I can feel the electricity and energy going through me, connecting with my port. I step back and place my hand on the scanner below. Then I get another small tingle from my port. And then the door slides open with a satisfying _Shink_. And as I enter my port gets the largest zap of all, which is even more powerful than my usual ones sending my head spinning and making my arm numb with pain and soreness. All the electricity I gained, and in the air… It makes me feel slightly connected off and on, but not enough to keep it running. Hence the zaps. I need to get to my cord fast.

I stumble down the stairway and find my way inside the elevator. Once I'm inside it I slide down to sit on the floor, my hand on the back of my neck holding the port. The elevator needs to go faster.

_If you were plugged in you could make it go faster_

The voice tells me, more clear than ever. I ignore it. I can barely see…

_Hurry_.

_When is it going to be at my level? _

Open my eyes…

_Oh, it's here_. Stand up.

_Whoa, don't fall. Keep walking. Up the stairs now.. Don't stop.. _Keep going..

_Door.._ _ Door? Oh. Door. Open your eye. Laser. ZAP. DON'T FALL. _

I can feel most of my upper body going numb, as well as part of my lower body._ You're almost there!_ It's taking everything I have in me to keep going.

My office, finally. I try to run over to the circle in the middle, but I end up tripping. I'm on my knees, crawling as fast as I possibly can.

_U-up t-the stairs…._ I'm struggling.

_But I'm so close_. Walk into the circle…. Reach up.

_Where is it?! _

_Higher, it's higher up. R-reach... Up…._.

I reach my hand as high as I possibly can_. There's so much pain… Almost. just a l-little higher. I-I'm losing my s-sight… _I feel my hand connect to the cord and a jolt of electricity goes from my port all the way down my spine, it's so painful it's all I can do to not let go of the cord as I fall onto my knees.

I pull the cord down farther and try to settle my numb, shaking hand as it carries out the all too familiar movement of sliding the cord into the back of my neck. I feel the usual _click_ as it connects. Then all the pain is soothed to a pleasant healing buzz. I slowly slide down to a horizontal position as I try to regain my breath. And then I fall asleep.

()~~~~()

2 hours later according to my watch, I wake up to find myself in the same position I fell asleep in. I lie still for a few minutes then slowly start to hoist myself back up onto my trembling hands and knees.

"I thought I might find you here."

Startled I look up to find myself peering into the face of someone I hadn't expected to see. Standing below my elevated circular platform, I see Austin staring up at me. Unable to find the right words I just crawl to the edge, put my arms around him and bury my face in the crevice of his neck.

Sadly I don't know how long He's been here. Normally when an Aperture employee enters the facility, I'll be alerted. But I remember when I added his DNA to the scanner identification forum. He's unregistered. No registration = No being alerted. I wanted to register Him, but He told me not to. He said He wanted it to be a surprise when He came. I pull back and He smiles at me. Oh how I've missed Him. It's been weeks since I've seen Him. He's been so busy lately.

Austin is a musician. He lives, hears, and breathes music. And He's amazing at it. Sigh. I love his voice so much. I've written and said that sentence so many times. I suspect people get tired of reading and hearing it from me. But it's true. Plus he's amazing at piano, as well as guitar. He is my waterfall voice, my best friend, and my confident. He is my Wheatley. Without the moron part.

I stand up and walk down the stairs to meet Him. "How long are you going to be here?" I ask. His smile widens as He replies, "I've got all day." I have to try hard not to squeal. Every once and a while He can be here for an hour or two. But I don't think He's ever been able to stay all day.

"There's so much we can do! I've wanted to take you on a tour of Aperture ever since I started here!" My heart sinks as I realize something. "There's just one problem, I have to stay plugged in." He looks thoughtful for a moment. "How far do you think that cord can go?" He asks. I shake my head, "it can only go to the edge of this room. They made sure that it went even that far after I tried pacing around the room and almost disconnected myself during a project…" He gives me an amused laugh.

After thinking for a moment I remember something.

"There is one thing we could try… But it hasn't been properly tested yet." He gives me a quizzical look, and then asks "will it hurt you?" I go over the device in my head, taking it apart, putting it back together, before coming to a conclusion. "I don't think so. Other than a tingle, it hasn't before."

"That's so reassuring."

I roll my eyes at Him. "It's a wireless connector. Like trying to get WIFI on a computer? It's the same thing, only it connects me to my Aperture control panel." He shrugs. "We can try it I guess. But if it shows even one sign of hurting you, I'm yanking it out of your neck." I smile at Him.

I should have expected that.

I walk over to the wall lined with shelves. It's in the fourth drawer to the right, on the top shelf. Subconsciously, I use my mind to pull up the panel beneath me so I can reach the drawer. "That is getting way to automatic." I realize as I lower it back down and step off of it. He laughs at me.

I bring it over to Him and place it in His hand. It's as small as a camera memory card. I feel around on my neck to find the port. "Alright." I tell Him. "You're going to have to put it in for me. It goes right in here; it has a spring system so make sure you push it in until it bounces back into place." He looks at me slightly unsure.

He's only plugged the cord into my neck once, when I had to focus all of my energy on something else. "Don't worry; I just need you to do it because you have to pull my cord out, RIGHT before you put it in, so it doesn't lose the connection with the facility and get confused about what the heck it's supposed to do. I can't do it fast enough, I've tried. Just stay calm." He sighs and nods.

I'm not sure exactly why He doesn't like doing it. I've tried to ask Him, but He won't tell me.

I start to pull my hair up, then remember it's already up. "Okay. On three, and remember you have to wait until the cord is completely out. One… Two… Three." With skilled hands He swiftly and easily slides the cord out and pushes the wireless card in. I can feel the _click_ as the spring system comes into work. I feel a zap of electricity run up my spine, and then vanish. I cry out in pain but quickly turn towards Him and put my hand up to keep Him from pulling it out.

As quickly as it came, it's gone.

I stand up and slide the small protective plate over the port, but He reaches over and slides it back up saying, "No. If it starts hurting you, I want to be able to get it out quickly." I don't argue with Him. I've tried to before. But He's stubborn about that type of thing. So I just nod and start a diagnostics run. After a minute it finishes and everything checks out okay. Sadly it doesn't allow me to do some of the more advanced programs and commands. But for a prototype, it's pretty good. I can open doors and move panels and elevators, access limited files and a map. It'll do for now.

I pull my hair out of a ponytail and shake it out. I loathe putting it up. But it's become strangely automatic when in Aperture. Then look up at Him and smile. "You ready for the full tour?" He smiles back. "Yup, this is going to be awesome. I get to spend the day with you, and get the full tour of Aperture from GLaDOS herself." I can't help but giggle at this.

I love being called GLaDOS.

()~~~~()

To my disappointment the day passes quickly. We had gotten down to only the 6 floor before we had to return to the ground floor, take my connector out and say goodbye for the day. I hug Him tightly, unwilling to let go. "Come see me again soon." I tell Him, as I reluctantly release Him Slowly and deeply inhaling His scent, etching it into my senses. "I will try, you stay safe okay? Remember, no stupid stuff while I'm gone." I nod reluctantly, and then remind Him that He promised the same to me. He sighs and obviously with just as much reluctance as I had, nods as well.

The "stupid" things I made Him promise not to do is things like cutting. We've both had problems with depression in the past, but together we've gotten through it. But I always make sure to remind Him just in case.

I give Him one more quick hug then walk on home, bursting with happiness from this lovely day.

As I skip into my apartment and lean against the door to close it with a sigh of content, Anna eyes me suspiciously as she pauses under the archway to the kitchen. I just smile at her and go to sit on the couch. She slowly walks over with her bowl of ice cream, sits down in her reading chair opposite me, still giving me a suspicious look, then picks up her book and averts her attention to it. She's not reading though. I can tell, she's thinking.

Sure enough after a moment she puts it back down and eyes me again. I just raise my eyebrow at her, still smiling and slightly amused. After a moment she says, "You went to Aperture didn't you…" I nod at her. "Figures, but it's more than that. You're rarely this _giggly happy, _even after Aperture_… _Unless…" She gets a sneaky knowing look on her face before continuing, "You saw your _sweetheart_ today didn't you." I roll my eyes but still can't manage to wipe the smile off my face; instead it just gets bigger and slightly embarrassed. "I knew it!" She yells at me with a finally triumphant look as I yell back "He's not my sweetheart!" laughing.

I can practically hear her roll her eyes "Mhm. Yeah. All of LoDGA plus Brainy and Lyle already agreed that you guys are totally going to get married." She says as I run into my bedroom giggling. They never get off my back about that.

()~~~~()

The next few days pass uneventful. No more Aperture visits for me for now. The rest of LoDGA found out and and with Anna's help forbid me from going for a while. For reasons they won't explain, saying it's "It's for my own good." Then leaving me to sit and grumble.

Anna gave me a list of books to read to pass time. I took it, only because forced, and went to look for them. I found them all 56 of them in no time;

Aperture made me really good at searching a database quickly and easily, plus with the maze down there, it wasn't hard to find them in only the library. So I got all the books and went home. Though it's now several days later and I haven't started any of them.

Boredom has set in. My mind is blank. The little euphoria I got from the day with Austin is rapidly leaving my bloodstream. I'm slowly going insane, again. The sensation isn't new by any means. Your thoughts slowly grow smaller and more distant, not to mention getting weirder by the moment. I realize when I wake up, I tend to try to turn on the Aperture menu panel I have etched into my brain, every command, every string of computer code, it's all there. I'm steadily becoming twitchy and paranoid again. Nothing feels right. Yes it's starting to sink in again. Nothing new for me.


End file.
